Aggravations In Mommy Land
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Jul. 20th, 2009 | 03:40 pm
posted by: wonderbread9 in antipinkerton
And the pinkertonism continues...Follow along and you'll see whatOkay so, here's the skinny: me and my boyfriend are expecting a kid (yes, yes, praise and worship the Mommydom...no need to bow and scrape, a simple gift of chocolate will do..lmao!), and we're excited about it. His mother's ecstatic about it. My mother's ecstatic, and both our fathers' are a tad...indifferent? Whatever. They're fuddy-duddies. Anyway, what's my pinkertonism rave and rant you may ask? Well, upon telling others (aunts, uncles, etc) of the blessed news and the fact that my boyfriend is Chinese, most of them get this...idk...WTF?! look on their faces. Those looks, I can handle. I tell them to fuck off. It's the "OHEMGEE, YOU'RE HAVING A HALF-CHINESE BABY!!! THAT IS SO MADE OF TEH AWESOME!!!" Now, I don't have a problem with that kind of response...what I have a problem with is the follow-up: "Your kid is going to be so good at martial arts!" "Dude, your kid is going to be so pretty because of those SLANTY eyes that Shawn has!" "OHEMGEE, ATLEAST your kid is going to be pretty because it has ASIAN in it!" "YOUR KID IS GOING TO BE SO PRETTY BECAU
Now, this is where I'm having issue. Not just because my kid is going to be half-Chinese, but that it's also going to be half-Black, and whatever the frig else is in my family gene pool, but that somehow it is A) only going to be pretty because of its Asian heritage...B) that my kid is going to be a genius because it has Chinese in its gene and C)Because it is going to be half-Chinese it is somehow going to be a magical Asian in that it can fly and do somersaults in the air while simultaneously executing flawless martial arts moves in a single bound and other such fuckery that I'm starting to get too annoyed to discuss right now.
So what should I do my fellow antipinkertons? Because...well...contrary to these assholish beliefs where as my boyfriend does not practice martial arts, I do (ME! A black-whatever-the-hell-else-is-in-my-ge
I kind of feel like: Really, people? Really? So, just because my kid is going to be half-Chinese it is somehow going to be this magical, all encompassing Asian being that will solve all the world's problems and represent its Asian heritage to become a kung-fu master with the genius to surpass all geniuses and end world hunger. I mean, don't get me wrong: that'd be fucking awesome if my kid did somehow end world hunger, but seriously? Seriously?
And then are the people that say: "Hey, Erica, I SOOOOO want to babysit your kid when its born. Oh, it'll be so CUTE to walk around with a half-Asian baby!" WTF?! So, now my kid's going to be your accessory.
It's like these people are just popping up out of the woodwork. One person tells another person who tells another person until the entire godawful city knows I'm preggers, and now they want to touch my tummy that barely even has a bump!
What do I do? How do I not kill these people so my kid doesn't look on old news clippings that read: "Angry Woman Kills Mob of Twenty in Homicidal Rage".