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antipinkerton

Aggravations In Mommy Land

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Jul. 20th, 2009 | 03:40 pm
mood: cranky cranky
posted by: wonderbread9 in antipinkerton


And the pinkertonism continues...Follow along and you'll see what

Okay so, here's the skinny: me and my boyfriend are expecting a kid (yes, yes, praise and worship the Mommydom...no need to bow and scrape, a simple gift of chocolate will do..lmao!), and we're excited about it. His mother's ecstatic about it. My mother's ecstatic, and both our fathers' are a tad...indifferent? Whatever. They're fuddy-duddies. Anyway, what's my pinkertonism rave and rant you may ask? Well, upon telling others (aunts, uncles, etc) of the blessed news and the fact that my boyfriend is Chinese, most of them get this...idk...WTF?! look on their faces. Those looks, I can handle. I tell them to fuck off. It's the "OHEMGEE, YOU'RE HAVING A HALF-CHINESE BABY!!! THAT IS SO MADE OF TEH AWESOME!!!" Now, I don't have a problem with that kind of response...what I have a problem with is the follow-up: "Your kid is going to be so good at martial arts!" "Dude, your kid is going to be so pretty because of those SLANTY eyes that Shawn has!" "OHEMGEE, ATLEAST your kid is going to be pretty because it has ASIAN in it!" "YOUR KID IS GOING TO BE SO PRETTY BECAUSE IT'S GOING TO BE ASIAN!" "YOUR KID IS GOING TO BE SO LIGHT-SKINNED BECAUSE IT'S ASIAN!!!" "YOUR KID IS GOING TO BE SO SMART BECAUSE IT'S GOING TO HAVE ASIAN IN IT!!!!" 
.
Now, this is where I'm having issue. Not just because my kid is going to be half-Chinese, but that it's also going to be half-Black, and whatever the frig else is in my family gene pool, but that somehow it is A) only going to be pretty because of its Asian heritage...B)  that my kid is going to be a genius because it has Chinese in its gene and C)Because it is going to be half-Chinese it is somehow going to be a magical Asian in that it can fly and do somersaults in the air while simultaneously executing flawless martial arts moves in a single bound and other such fuckery that I'm starting to get too annoyed to discuss right now.
So what should I do my fellow antipinkertons? Because...well...contrary to these assholish beliefs where as my boyfriend does not practice martial arts, I do (ME! A black-whatever-the-hell-else-is-in-my-gene-pool woman does martial arts! Grrrrr...)and I don't want to go to jail for laying a smack down on these summamabitches
.
I kind of feel like: Really, people? Really? So, just because my kid is going to be half-Chinese it is somehow going to be this magical, all encompassing Asian being that will solve all the world's problems and represent its Asian heritage to become a kung-fu master with the genius to surpass all geniuses and end world hunger. I mean, don't get me wrong: that'd be fucking awesome if my kid did somehow end world hunger, but seriously? Seriously?
!
And then are the people that say: "Hey, Erica, I SOOOOO want to babysit your kid when its born. Oh, it'll be so CUTE to walk around with a half-Asian baby!" WTF?! So, now my kid's going to be your accessory.
It's like these people are just popping up out of the woodwork. One person tells another person who tells another person until the entire godawful city knows I'm preggers, and now they want to touch my tummy that barely even has a bump!

What do I do? How do I not kill these people so my kid doesn't look on old news clippings that read: "Angry Woman Kills Mob of Twenty in Homicidal Rage".
.
Guh.
.
/rant 
 

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Comments {8}

Gaudy Salamander

From: gaudysalamander
Date: Jul. 21st, 2009 12:49 am (UTC)
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I got no advice, but tons of sympathy. And if you do go on a homicidal rampage, you know antipinkerton will show up with bail money.

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wonderbread9

From: wonderbread9
Date: Aug. 6th, 2009 05:58 pm (UTC)
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Thanks, because my hormonal ass will definately need it, LOL

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I goddam better be the only bee in your bonnet!

From: ikichi
Date: Jul. 21st, 2009 05:47 am (UTC)
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My friend went nuts because everyone kept giving her son Chinese outfits (she's black and Mexican). Granted, he was pretty much a cuter, tanned copy of his dad, but it was still annoying.

Get the sprog a onesie that says, "I've good good hair, I've got some African in me". :D

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wonderbread9

From: wonderbread9
Date: Aug. 6th, 2009 05:59 pm (UTC)
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I showed your comment to my boyfriend; it had him rolling. Now, I sure he's going to try and find a onesie that says that. Hell, I'M going to try and find it! Lol

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perverted like me

From: crotch_r0t
Date: Jul. 22nd, 2009 09:22 pm (UTC)
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lol, nothing brings the stupid out in people quite like babies.

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wonderbread9

From: wonderbread9
Date: Aug. 6th, 2009 06:00 pm (UTC)
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I'm definately starting to get that. Sigh.

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Sarah

From: cool_sare
Date: Aug. 3rd, 2009 05:20 am (UTC)
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Geez, they notice that the baby is going to be half Chinese, but the fact that the baby is going to also be black just flies out the window? *headdesk* at the ignorant pinkertonism.

PS, if people give your baby loads of Chinese outfits, then you can unload them on a pregnant pinkertina for free. You can also put them up for sale on craigslist or ebay too. Your baby's going to be beautiful because of his mixture of mommy and daddy (If that sentence was made of fail to you..forgive me, I've gone for days without sleep.)

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wonderbread9

From: wonderbread9
Date: Aug. 6th, 2009 06:03 pm (UTC)
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Nah, I know where you're coming from. It's these OTHER damn people with their assumptions and their stupid and their just....argh!

(The other day, a co-worker was all like: "OH, you're finally showing that Asian bump!" Seriously, if my boss hadn't have grabbed my hand and manhandled me away from that lady's space I'd've stabbed her with my pen. It's like these people completely forget that I'm African-American, and just GUSH about my kid being Asian and WOW, what a WONDERFUL Asian it'll be. Seriously, it's just my baby. A baby. There are no expectations on it yet. I don't even know if it's a boy or girl yet, for god'ssake!)

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